Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Randomize
