i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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