why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
