He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
