with your own penis?
I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
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