The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
