Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
