like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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