The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Randomize
