shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
