yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
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