why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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