you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
