I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Go christen that room with your naked body.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
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