You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
