that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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