Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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