Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
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