yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
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