Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
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