things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
