i don't plan on having that self control this summer
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
