worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Randomize
