How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Randomize
