Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize