I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
