Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Randomize
