Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
