I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
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