hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
it's great music for shaving your balls
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
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