Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize
