guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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