my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Randomize
