look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Randomize
