I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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