Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
