i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
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