They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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