1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
you have to choose: penises or morals?
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
