I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
