So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
