After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
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