OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize