have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize