do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
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