I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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