I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
