I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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