Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Randomize
