Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
