So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize