I just threw up on my dentist
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
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