Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Randomize
