pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
