fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
