why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
