you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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