operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Randomize
